It is now, officially, Christmas Day. It is 00:12 here in the UK, Roynie and I have drained a couple of bottles and the turkey is well and truly stuffed. The only thing missing is the Christmas crackers for the table. Please help out with some pathetic two-liner jokes.
Here is my starter for 10.
“Did you hear they have re-named Viagra …? It is now called Mycoxaflopin” (thanks to Anton, our decorator, for this)
Any others in a similar vein gratefully welcomed. Have a wonderful day. Happy Christmas.
It’s finally Christmas day here in the U.S. (Those of you across the pond get to celebrate a bit earlier.) MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
No original two-liner here, but I’ll add to the list of new names for Viagra — or do you prefer Cialis, Chris? How about:
Mydixadrupin?
Mydixarizin?
Fixadix?
Ibepokin?
— john
This is cheating (waaay more than two lines), but I thought it was funny:
An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks him help to revive her Husband’s sex drive. ‘What about trying Viagra?’ asks the doctor.
‘Not a chance’ says Mrs. Murphy. “He won’t even take an aspirin for a headache.”
‘No problem,’ replies the doctor. ‘Drop it into his coffee, he won’t even taste it. Try it and come back in a week to let me know how you got on.’
A week later Mrs. Murphy returns to the doctor and he inquires as to how things went. ‘Oh it was terrible, just terrible doctor.’
‘What happened?’ asks the doctor.
‘Well I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee. The effect was immediate. He jumped straight up, swept the cutlery off the table, at the same time ripping my clothes off and then proceeded to make passionate love to me on the tabletop. It was terrible.’
‘What was terrible?’ said the doctor, ‘was the sex not good?’
“Oh no doctor, the sex was the best I’ve had in 25 years, but I’ll never be able to show my face in McDonald’s again.